


angels of porn

by ElysianHeart



Series: trauma hours [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Ableist Language, CSA, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Stream of Consciousness, song: angels of porn ii (Nicole Dollanganger), vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElysianHeart/pseuds/ElysianHeart
Summary: your fingers up inside of me feel like fingers down my throateverything is fine in heaven but I'll never get to knoworgonta gokuhara didn't get lost. he ran away.stream of consciousness. csa vent. lower case is intentional.song lyrics from angels of porn ii by nicole dollanganger





	angels of porn

gonta gokuhara is born to two wealthy parents out in the upper middle class suburbs of tokyo. he has magnificent long hair and a smile that could melt hearts. his mother smiles when he is born. his father doesn’t.

mentally challenged, says the doctor. goddamned retard, says his father. gonta doesn’t understand the difference. he is 2 years old and his father refuses to smile at him.

the smell of rotten food is palatable in the house. discarded beer cans and moldy half-eaten burgers. nobody ever cleans it up. not even the maids. gonta is 2 years old.

 

(my bedroom smells like rotten food and i guess so do i)

 

gonta’s first memory is laying on his bed, blood stained sheets and sticky white

 

_no no no no_

 

blood stained sheets and sticky white dried into his hair. his clothes. everywhere.

empty beer cans. his father’s cologne clinging to his body and his mouth.

 

_always the mouth gotta flush it out gotta brush ten times a day till your gums bleed_

 

(i’d give my body to satan if i could only keep my soul)

 

gonta is 3. he doesn’t know what he did wrong.

gonta is 5 when he runs away. runs far far away and never looks back. into the woods.

 

the woods the woods the woods they’ll hunt you they’ll find you he’ll do it again

 

gonta is 9 when he’s found. people come and take him, take him away from the wolves, from his family. he cries and sobs and people assume it’s because he’s overwhelmed from being found but it’s really because he knows what happens next.

gonta is 10 when he’s returned to his parents. goddamned retard, says his father. poor boy, says his mother. poor boy. poor boy. poor boy. poor boy.

 

poor poor poor poor poor boy boy boy poor boy poor

 

_is gonta a boy. is gonta a girl. gonta doesn’t know anymore_

 

nobody talks to gonta. he’s too big, too imposing. doesn’t talk right. the other kids call him a retard. it reminds him of his father and he runs home crying and throws up. his father calls him a coward and threatens to beat him.

gonta is 12 and rips his hair out and cries and throws up whenever he smells cologne.

 

(my hair is falling out again and i don’t really care)

 

insects are gonta’s only friend. they don’t judge. they don’t touch. they don’t rape.

gonta is 13 when he hears about the killing game for the first time.

 

gonta is 14. all of his classmates think he is the oldest. he’s not. the oldest is tsumugi, who is 18.

 

gonta is 14.

 

gonta is 14 when he kills miu.

 

he thinks it’s because kokichi told him to.

 

_it’s really because she reminds him of his father the same cologne the same beer the same sexual nature get away from gonta get away get away_

 

(praying in the night to the angels of porn nails in their wrists and knees on the floor great lakes full of cum extracted from everyone)

 

gonta is 14 when he gets executed.

 

gonta is 14 when he finally dies.

 

 

 

 

gonta is 14 when he finally finds peace.


End file.
